It happened. I had to be the Mom who takes their child back into a store to return something that wasn't theirs...
Yesterday we went to the store to buy birthday presents. Shyler and Easton both had "grandparent money" to spend from their birthdays. Shyler also had to buy something for a friend's party. So the kids picked out their items, Easton paid first and then walked around the store and played with different things while Shyler and I paid.
When we got into the car and pulled away, I happened to look back at the kids right as Easton pulled a little kaleidoscope from his bag.
"Where did you get that?" I asked.
"Frwom the stow" he replied.
"Oh no buddy, we didn't pay for that, and we don't take things that we didn't pay for. That's stealing."
So I flipped the car around, drove back to the store and told Easton he had to go inside with me and give it back and apologize. He didn't want to go, but I told him that he had to, because I wasn't the one that had taken it, and he needed to apologize.
So in we went, I made him carry it, and hand it over, and say he was sorry.
And that was that.
On the way home, I talked to both kids about why stealing was wrong and we should never do it.
As I considered my course of action I took, I began to question if I had handled it correctly... I know that my mom used to make us go back in, pay for the item, and then she threw it away in front of us. (I don't actually remember this happening to me, but she said she has done it with some of us... anyways...) Was I wrong to simply have him apologize and return the item?
Thoughts?
3 comments:
I think that is the best way to handle it. Ho does not get the toy and he had to apologize for what he did wrong. I have found that actually throwing away toys (which I have done, but not because of something like this) just makes them so focused on the toy that they do not learn the lesson. Tyson occasionally takes things that belong to Joel or I, our response it to take something that belongs to him temporarily and ask him how it made him feel. We return the toy after he returns the item, but he usually can see that it hurts feelings.
I don't think you did anything wrong. Hopefully they understood what you were telling them. If it'd been candy or something, buying it totally makes sense, but for an item that was unopened, just having him return it and apologize seems like that'd teach him a lesson. Guess if he does it again you'll know you need to try a different approach. ;)
For that age, I think yes you definitely did the right thing.
I think making a kid buy the things they steal and then throwing them away would work best on an older kid.
The whole point of stealing, when you are old enough to know better, is that you are getting what you want without having to pay for it. So having to pay for something and then it getting thrown away makes a big statement. At least it would for me.
I don't think little kids would really understand the message. They aren't stealing because they don't want to pay for something, or in some cases get a thrill out of it, they are because they just want something.
Making him take it back and apologize is very memorable at that age. I had to do that when I was four, the fact that I remember it so clearly says it all.
;D
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